Sensory and Regulation
Does My Child Have Sensory Processing Issues?
Signs Every Parent Needs to Recognize
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, LMFT
Licensed Clinical Family Psychotherapist
Treatment for Neurodivergent Children and Families
Most parents who come to me with concerns about their child's behavior are not describing a discipline problem. They are describing a nervous system that is working differently. The child who screams when their shirt tag touches their neck, who refuses to walk on grass barefoot, who covers their ears in a restaurant, or who crashes into furniture and never seems to sit still is not being difficult. They are communicating, in the only language their body has, that the world feels overwhelming or under-stimulating in ways most people around them simply cannot feel. Sensory processing issues are among the most common and most overlooked challenges in children today, particularly in children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, and complex emotional profiles. The earlier a family understands what they are looking at, the sooner real support can begin.
If your child came to mind while reading that, you are in exactly the right place. Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, LMFT works with families like yours through teletherapy, parent coaching, and online courses. Her books on understanding emotionally complex children are available at TheMisunderstoodChild.com. When you are ready, begin support there.
› Sensory processing refers to how the brain receives, organizes, and responds to information from the senses.
Most people think of five senses, but children actually process eight: sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, movement (vestibular), body position (proprioception), and internal body signals (interoception). A child can have difficulty in any one or several of these channels.
› Sensory processing issues are not a diagnosis in themselves.
They are a neurological difference that frequently appears alongside ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, and other neurodivergent profiles. A child does not need a formal diagnosis to have real, significant sensory processing challenges that deserve professional support.
› Children can be sensory over-responsive, under-responsive, or sensory seeking.
An over-responsive child feels too much: textures, sounds, lights, and smells that others barely notice can feel genuinely unbearable. An under-responsive child feels too little and needs more input to feel regulated. A sensory seeking child actively pursues intense physical experiences to meet their nervous system's need for stimulation.
› Blood sugar and physical state significantly affect sensory tolerance.
A child who is hungry, tired, or already stressed has a much lower sensory threshold. What a child can manage at 9am after a breakfast of eggs and avocado may be completely intolerable at 3pm after a long school day fueled by nothing more than a granola bar. Real nourishment, warm food, quality protein, and healthy fats that create lasting satiety, is what keeps the nervous system stable across the arc of the day. Prevention through consistent nutrition and rest is one of the most powerful sensory regulation tools available to parents.
Sensory challenges are invisible from the outside. A child dysregulating over a clothing seam, a food texture, or a noisy cafeteria looks like a behavioral problem to most observers. It is not. It is a nervous system that has reached its limit.
› Cumulative sensory load is one of the most important concepts for parents to
understand.
A child may handle each sensory challenge individually but fall apart when several pile up across a day. This is why children often dysregulate at home after holding it together at school. The sensory bucket has been filling all day, and home is where it finally overflows.
Sensory processing differences are treatable and manageable. Occupational therapy using sensory integration approaches, environmental modifications, sensory diets, and whole- family coaching can dramatically improve a child's ability to function, regulate, and thrive.
› Early identification matters enormously.
The longer sensory challenges go unrecognized, the more a child internalizes the message that they are difficult, broken, or bad. Naming what is actually happening neurologically is not just clinically important. It is emotionally protective.
A DEEPER LOOK FROM A SPECIALIST
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, LMFT · Licensed Clinical Family Psychotherapist · Laguna Niguel, California
In my practice, the earliest and most telling signs of sensory processing differences show up during the moments parents often chalk up to stubbornness or a difficult temperament. A child who becomes intensely dysregulated during transitional moments like getting ready for school, settling into a nighttime routine, sitting down for a meal, or tolerating clothing on their body is not choosing to be difficult. These reactions are generated from within. They are the nervous system communicating that the sensory demands of that moment have exceeded what the child can comfortably process. Sensitivity to noise, light, texture, and touch are among the most commonly
missed signals because they look, from the outside, like ordinary resistance. They are not. They are neurological.
The most important reframe I offer families who arrive believing their child is simply being defiant is this: because sensory processing differences are generated from within the nervous system, behavioral interventions alone are not going to work as a first remedy. You cannot consequence a child out of a sensory response. What does work is recognition. When parents learn to identify their child’s specific sensitivities in advance, they gain the ability to set up environments and routines for future success rather than repeatedly walking into situations that are neurologically overwhelming for their child. That shift, from reacting to preventing, changes the entire family dynamic. The child
stops being seen as the problem. The nervous system becomes the focus. And suddenly, there is a roadmap.
The body and nutrition piece is something I come back to with every family I work with, because it is one of the most actionable tools parents have. For a child with sensory processing differences, any challenging moment or transition is made significantly harder when they are hungry, tired, or physically depleted. A nervous system that is already working overtime to process the sensory world around it has even less capacity when it is under-nourished. I always recommend that parents make sure their child is genuinely nourished before any demanding sensory situation, whether that is getting dressed for school, attending a birthday party, or sitting down for homework. And I am specific about what that means: warm food when possible, quality protein, healthy fats like avocado or foods prepared with olive oil. Not crackers. Not a protein bar. Food that creates real satiety and gives the nervous system something to work with for more than twenty minutes. Feed the brain first. Then face the challenge. This is not a small thing. For many of the families I work with, it is transformative.
Sensory challenges do not stay contained to the child who is experiencing them. They ripple through the entire family. Siblings are affected because the sensory episodes are often unpredictable, disruptive, and difficult to explain. They tend to erupt at the most loaded moments, during morning routines, at the dinner table, at the start of transitions that everyone else is trying to navigate at the same time. Parents are affected because they are managing a child whose needs feel invisible to everyone around them, including teachers, extended family, and even their own partners. This is exactly why I practice whole-family care. Sensory challenges require a whole- family response. Everyone in the household needs to understand what is happening, why it is
happening, and what their role is in supporting the child and each other. When the whole family is brought into that understanding, everything becomes more manageable.
If you are reading this and recognizing your child, I want you to know something important: sensory processing differences are often just the beginning of a larger picture that deserves a professional eye. Getting on top of it early, through prevention and identification rather than crisis management, is the most powerful thing you can do for your child right now. What we are working toward is a child who feels comfortable in their own body, who feels safe in the world around them, and who knows how to self-advocate when something does not feel right. That is an achievable goal. And you do not have to find the path to it alone.
RELATED GUIDES
› A meltdown is a nervous system event, not a strategy.
› How to Help a Child With Sensory Overload
› Why Is My Child Falling Apart From the Inside?
› What Is Co-Regulation and How Do I Do It?
› Why Does My Child Fall Apart at Home?
› What Is Stimming and Should I Stop It?
What are the most common signs of sensory processing issues in children?
The signs vary depending on whether a child is over-responsive, under-responsive, or sensory seeking, but the most commonly seen patterns include strong negative reactions to clothing textures, tags, or seams; distress around loud or unexpected sounds; refusal to eat foods based on texture rather than taste; crashing into furniture, walls, or people as a way of seeking input; difficulty sitting still or needing to constantly move; covering ears or eyes in ordinary environments; extreme reactions to grooming like haircuts, teeth brushing, or nail trimming; and becoming overwhelmed in busy, bright, or noisy places like grocery stores, cafeterias, or birthday parties. No child will have all of these, and many children present with a unique combination that reflects their specific nervous system profile.
Can a child have sensory processing issues without having autism or ADHD?
Yes, absolutely. Sensory processing differences can occur in children who have no other diagnosis at all. However, they appear significantly more often in children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, anxiety, and other neurodivergent profiles. Because sensory processing issues do not have their own entry in the current diagnostic manual, children can struggle significantly without ever receiving a formal label for this specific challenge. That does not make the experience less real or less deserving of professional support. A child does not need a diagnosis to receive occupational
therapy or sensory-informed care.
Why does my child seem fine with sensory things sometimes but completely overwhelmed at other times?
This is almost always explained by two things: cumulative sensory load and physical state. Every child has a sensory tolerance window. When that window is respected, meaning the child has slept well, eaten consistently with stable blood sugar, and has not faced too many sensory demands already, they can often manage. But as the day goes on and sensory exposures pile up, the window narrows. What felt manageable in the morning can feel completely unbearable by afternoon. This is why dinner time and after-school hours are so often the hardest. The bucket has been filling all day and home is where it overflows.
How is sensory processing different in children with ADHD versus children with autism?
Children with ADHD tend toward sensory seeking, meaning they crave movement, physical input, and stimulation because their nervous system needs more to feel regulated and alert. Children with autism are more commonly sensory over-responsive, meaning ordinary levels of input can feel genuinely painful or overwhelming. However, there is enormous individual variation and many children present with a mixed profile that crosses both patterns. The most important thing is always to understand the specific child's nervous system rather than to assume based on diagnosis alone.
What should I do if I think my child has sensory processing issues?
The first step is an evaluation by a licensed occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration. An OT can assess your child's specific sensory profile and develop a sensory diet, which is a personalized plan of sensory activities designed to help regulate your child's nervous system throughout the day. In parallel, working with a family therapist who specializes in neurodiverse children can help your whole family understand what is happening, adjust your home environment, and develop responses that support rather than escalate your child's dysregulation. Early support consistently produces better outcomes than waiting.
What is a sensory diet and does it really help?
A sensory diet has nothing to do with food. It is a term used by occupational therapists to describe a personalized schedule of sensory activities built into a child's daily routine that help regulate their nervous system proactively. For a sensory-seeking child this might include heavy work activities like carrying groceries, wall push-ups, or jumping on a trampoline. For an over-responsive child it might include calming input like deep pressure, slow swinging, or time in a quiet low-stimulation space. When implemented consistently, a sensory diet can significantly reduce the frequency and intensity of dysregulation because it addresses the nervous system's needs before the bucket overflows.
Could my child's behavior at the dinner table actually be a sensory issue?
Very possibly, yes. Mealtime is one of the most sensory-rich environments a child encounters: smells, textures, visual presentation of food, sounds of the kitchen, the expectation to sit still, and the social demands of conversation all happening simultaneously. For a child with sensory processing differences, dinner can feel like a genuine assault on the nervous system. Food refusal based on texture is one of the most commonly missed signs of sensory processing differences. If your child consistently refuses foods based on how they feel in the mouth rather than how they
taste, if they gag easily, or if mealtimes are consistently a source of dysregulation, sensory processing is worth exploring seriously with a specialist.
At what age can sensory processing issues first be identified?
Sensory processing differences can be observed as early as infancy. Babies who are extremely difficult to soothe, who arch away from being held, who are hypersensitive to sound or light, or who seem unusually unresponsive may already be showing early signs. Toddlerhood is often when sensory challenges become more visible because children are encountering more sensory demands in the world. There is no age that is too young to seek an evaluation if you have concerns. The earlier sensory differences are identified and supported, the better the outcomes for the child and for the entire family.
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Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, LMFT
Licensed Clinical Family Psychotherapist · Founder, The Misunderstood Child
is a licensed clinical family therapist, nationally recognized
neurodivergent child specialist, and the founder of The Misunderstood Child. Known nationally for over a decade as The Go-To Mom™, Kimberley has been a pioneering voice in family mental health, parenting education, and child development since 1998. A Jossey-Bass published author, UCLA instructor, and contributor to the Wall Street Journal and USA Today, she now dedicates her practice to whole-family care for families raising emotionally complex and neurodivergent children. Her teletherapy, coaching, classes, and books are available at TheMisunderstoodChild.com.
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